Shakespeare wrote a poem describing 7 stages of a man's life....... all with its own characteristics.... It is interesting to watch how skillfully he narrates the various situations that a man must face, tactfully and gracefully. But I divide the life of a human being into two major distinctions...... when we are young and when we get old....... to me, rest are simply associated stages.... It is amazing how the two contain a contrast of the earth and the sky. Read ahead....
The Young Age Expectations....
Here the point to ponder is: Are we born as a young man? I am not kidding.... The way most of our younger class of population behaves is unfortunately as if they were not duly brought up, fed as an infant, tutored as a child, taken care of so many hurdles as a boy and advised continually as a young man by the loving and worried parents and elders.
When we do recognize that whatever we are as a young man today, is the blissful favour of our elders who took pains to make us we we are today. But unfortunately the young men expect too much from not only their elders in cash, kind and care, they see the world also from their colorful binocular...... too charming, too good to believe and too demanding on them at times so they hope all angels in the universe should unite to help them with their day dreaming and wishes. There is a true proverb that says, 'if wishes were the horses, beggars would be the riders'
The expectations versus attitude:
The attitude of passing thruogh the avenues of life is different for successful young men and the failures. The idle mind is the workshop of the devil. With unfounded but high hopes, the naive young men do not apply the tips and techniques to make their dreams come true. Infact their attitude can be more correctly termed as 'arrogant' and 'who cares' life style. They are not listening to their elders word of advice, they are not trusting their experience, they are not thankful to what has been done by the parents so far and they are not willing to do any service
to them as a token of their duty and gratefulness. Why should a young man expect anything from those around him if he is not worth of being expected by anyone? It would be an unfair distribution, isn't it?
Really Unfortunate but if it a true.....
Despite the fact that in most of the cases, the young men have little to offer to the world. The large number does not have worth while status or savings to be of any service to any one. and yet, their high-handedness is rightly seen as a work of someone with lost senses. They naively wish to be acknowledged for their lip-service and fake promises to deliver. They are dreaming of high status in society without working for it, they look forward to high profile jobs to embrace them without due qualifications and experience, they are hoping for a fortune overnight without a logic why such a treasure should come their way....... it is terrible to think how and when the young people of the above description shall mend their ways. Time is simply flying by.... If they do not realize their folly, their first impression will not be given a second chance. It never does.
Having expectations is the fuel for planning in future, the power to move us in adverse conditions, the only reason to live and breath .... only if these are put to practice, sincerely and devotedly, only to succeed with the precious blessings of our elders.
The Old age Expectations:
On the otherhand, the older group, say between 50+ to their Seventies or above, have innocent expectations. They are infact on the losers end of the fence...... their abilities fast diminishing, their youth vanishing at a constant pace, their vigor evaporating right in front of their eyes and their ability to come to grips with their deteriorating situation makes them the most pittiable group of society. They expect their young ones to serve them. They foolishly hope that the young ones who took the best part of their life and savings and attention, love and care, would now reciprocate. It is payment time, they believe. But to their utmost displeasure and disappointment very few 'good-natured' off springs would agree and royally spare some of their graciously precious time to 'listen' to their elders difficulties, sickness, disabilities and financial crises, which is so common in the lives of most of the old people. Alas, those who played with us when we were so small are helpless when they are 64.
We all agree that the harsh times are ahead for most of us..... then we shall be expecting good behavior and thankfulness and care and love but will we get it? Let us spread the word to the entire world that the old age expectations are truly profound, respectable and real while the young age attitude in most cases needs rectification immediately in our cultures. If we do serve our parents, our old relations, our weak and sick neighbors, our deprived countrymen, it shall not be a surprise that when we too become frigile, we shall be taken care of. Let us work on it..... from today!
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Head’s of families bear the onerous task of bringing balance of authority. In our joint family system, it is a managerial nightmare. But for centuries, not only has this system been in existence, but prospered and prevailed as well. Principles set by the elders are respected and dutifully followed. Tradition and its furtherance has been the ultimate decider. Disputes and differences have been brought to the high table of the elder and his or her decision taken as final judgement. It takes a lot of discipline and belief to accomplish this. But it works and is adhered to.
ReplyDeleteMany now compelled by modernity or with the desire to be different, break tradition in revolt and set paths that do not follow given and settled direction. Change. And the change of belief and the desire to adapt to other means, pushes some to walk separately and alone. It is not something that tradition allows or is content with, but it accepts and if there is need, tolerates.
Wife’s run their own domain, with pride and compassion. They indeed are the de facto heads of the family. Nothing moves without their compliance. They are the strengths and the pillars of this massive edifice. This edifice that they entered and adopted and then nursed and structured as their own personal private nest, with warmth and care. This is all that they possess. And they guard and nurture it with all the passion at their command. Mess with this and be prepared to be messed up. They are born in a home they believe is theirs, only to learn, as marriage does, that this indeed is not theirs. That what they acquire after their betrothal is what shall remain and give them permanency. This acquired home is the place they shall live in for a greater number of years than they did in their own Father’s home. This is the wife’s greatest sacrifice, her greatest achievement - the readiness to shift midway and to grow in this new environment to give it the prominence and pride of place than any other. This is their own, their final destination. This is what she shall live and die for. Those that understand the depth of this adjustment, understand the wife, the Mother, the Mother in Law, the GrandMother and the great Grand Mother. Most of humanity lives to be able, only, to announce this stage. Very rare are those that are fortunate and blessed to add another ‘great’ in the lineage.
The progeny, the child, the son or daughter is what the future bides its time for. They are the bearers of the torch. They shall run ahead to light up the path, to seek fresh pastures, to make them more attractive and fruitful. In their guidance and guile shall depend the continuity of the generation. They shall bear the responsibility of tomorrow. They shall introduce change. Change for betterment and greater prosperity. They shall conduct and respect the blessings of those behind them, to carry them forward to the next. They shall be entrusted with responsibility. They shall conjure support and co operation. Not for today or for tomorrow, but for tomorrow’s tomorrow. They will need independence and liberty. They shall need freedom. A freedom to exercise their right and the freedom to express. To garner compatibility and to mark their progress. A progress that shall bear the indulgence of their peers and their elders and their heads of family. For, only when they shall understand and respect that, will they be in position one day to enumerate and define the ‘Head of a Family’ ; a title they must deserve and be worthy of.
May each family deserve the Head, the wife and the progeny .. and may they ever exist in harmony, peace and just happiness !!
Wonderful article ! your dexterity to write articles on any topic or social issues is remarkable. Keep it up!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind remarks, dear Iffat Hussain. While keeping the best spirit behind my motives and without being overbearing, it shall be a pleasure to write for reforming things around us, with help from God.... In fact it is our duty. I am grateful for your appreciation, dear.
ReplyDeletePlease do visit frequently.... and honour me with your valued views and suggestions.